Sleeping Spock, a Star Trek Fairy Tale
by Kaat ShadowLover
Summary: A retelling of the favorite classic, with a Star Trek twist.


Disclaimer: I own a SpockBear, and he is cuddly, but I do not own Star Trek or these characters.

Warning: general silliness

A/N: This was written for the prompt: Sleeping Beauty -- Star Trek XI style!

**Sleeping Spock, a Star Trek Fairy Tale**

"Once upon a time"

"That is an illogical way to begin a story."

"Shut up. Are you telling this story or am I?"

"I believe it is you who is attempting to narrate this tale."

"Attempting is right. You won't even let me get through the first sentence."

"It was illogical."

"It's a fairy tale! It's not supposed to be logical!"

"Isn't fairy an antiquated Earth word used to describe homosexual men?"

"That's not the kind of fairy I'm talking about."

***Actually, this is a slash story.***

"You shut up too!"

"Bones! Spock! Voice suddenly appearing from nowhere! Can we stop with the bickering and the semantics and get on on with it?"

"Sorry."

***Sorry.***

"My apologies."

"All right then. Bones, could you start over?"

"Why not? It's not like I got far in the first place."

"Bones!"

"Fine, fine. Once upon a time..."

* * *

Once upon a time there was a kingdom named Vulcan. It was a prosperous place, with enough food and wealth that the citizens did not have to spend all day slaving in the fields and could devote a portion of their time to studying different aspects of science or mathematics or philosophy. This resulted in many discoveries to make life easier or to explain the wonders of the natural world or to delve further into the intricacies of Logic, Vulcan's national philosophy.

Vulcan, like every other kingdom in the land of Abrahms on the world of Roddenberry, was ruled by a King and Queen. King Sarek ruled his people logically, which was all that they asked for. Queen Amanda was perhaps slightly less logical as she was not originally from Vulcan, but had been a Princess of the kingdom Graysonia. When King Sarek, then a Prince, had married Princess Amanda, the two kingdoms entered into trade relations that benefited both immeasurably. (In fact, the benefits could be measured and had been, but the result was a paper so long and tedious that even the citizens of Vulcan thought it better not to think on it.) The point here is that no one could refute the logic in Sarek's marriage to Amanda.

King Sarek and Queen Amanda ruled their people wisely and well from the capitol city of Shi'Kahr. This was the center of learning for all of Vulcan and attracted scholars renowned throughout all the kingdoms of Abrahms. It was also the center of worship in Vulcan. The Temple of Surak, the god who had originally introduced Logic to the people of Vulcan, was a marvelous blend of the practical, the aesthetic, and the traditional, for the people had learned long ago that it was not logical to abandon traditions that were at the very root of their culture.

The Temple was ruled by the Priestess T'Pau. It was she who oversaw all ceremonies, including Bondings, Katra transferences, and births. It was this last that is of interest to us as our tell truly begins with the birth of the Prince.

* * *

"But you have already begun the tale. If the birth were the beginning, why did you not start there?"

"It's called setting the stage, you cold-blooded hobgoblin."

"Guys, do I have to start handing out spankings?"

***Captain, this isn't that type of fic.***

"But it's so much _fun_. Come one, tell me you don't want to see me with Spock laid out over my lap, me turning that gorgeous Vulcan ass a bright emerald green."

***Look, as much as I would love that, that's not what I'm writing here so stop giving me ideas!***

"You never let me have any fun."

***How do you know? We haven't even gotten to your part yet.***

"Oh, well, in that case. Carry on."

***Dr. McCoy, if you please.***

"Yeah, sure. As I was saying..."

* * *

Our tale begins with the birth of the Prince. The Prince was an exceptional mix of both his parents with the dark hair and delicately pointed ears of his father (it has long been supposed that the legends of elves in the far lands were, in fact, rooted in the tales of those who had traveled to Vulcan and didn't realize that the distinctive ears were simply a unique genetic trait and not, as those travelers speculated, the mark of a magical race that did all manner of strange things like talk to trees and ride on wolves) and the liquid brown eyes of his mother. The proud parents decided to name their son Spock and immediately began preparing for the Blessing.

The Blessing is a ceremony common to all known kingdoms. It is where the priests and priestesses of specific deities may confer upon the child the traits that their own deity stands for. For example, T'Pau or one of her sister Priestesses (from the lesser Temples of Surak) was present at the Blessing of every Vulcan child and conferred upon them the trait of Logic, passed through the Priestess to the babe from the god Surak himself. Other kingdoms had other gods who exemplified other traits and their Priests and Priestesses would confer those traits on children at their Blessing ceremonies. Royal children, such as Prince Spock, had Blessings where the Priests and Priestesses of neighboring kingdoms were invited so as to ensure that the next King or Queen would have all the traits necessary to rule well. (This custom may perhaps explain why Queen Amanda adapted to her husband's philosophy of Logic so well, as T'Pau had been invited to her own Blessing when she was an infant.)

The Blessings was the event of the kingdom. As Spock was the Prince of Vulcan, it was quite logical for the citizens to celebrate his birth in every way possible. Many came to participate in the extravagant party being held at the Palace (and, while they were there, observe the Blessing). Those who could not make the journey to the Palace celebrated in their own towns and villages. It was a kingdom-wide party the likes of which had not been seen since King Sarek's own Blessing years before.

The Priests and Priestesses who had been invited to confer their deities' traits on the infant lined up according to how far they had traveled to attend. T'Pau was first and the Priest who had traveled the farthest, Montgomery from the land of Scots, would be last. There was a hushed expectation as the crowd watched and waited to learn what traits Spock would be Blessed with.

T'Pau stepped solemnly up to the intricately carved bassinet that held the royal babe. She gently touched the child's face with her fingers set in a specific pattern. "Spock cha'Sarek, Prince of Vulcan, I confer Logic upon thee." All could sense the power that flowed between T'Pau and Spock though there was no outward sign of the Blessing. T'Pau gravely nodded her head and stepped aside.

The Priests and Priestesses that followed conferred a variety of traits upon the young Prince. Christine of Cha'Pel conferred Kindness. Sulu of Takei conferred Fierceness, Suvuk of D'ane conferred Intrepidness. Pavel of Russia conferred Intelligence. Nyota of Uhura conferred Comprehension. There were many more. Finally, there was only one left, Montgomery, Priest of the God Dilithios, who would confer Speed. Before the Priest could step up to the dais, however, lightning began to crackle in the center of the Great Hall.

Everyone gathered there watched in awe and fear as a man stepped out from amidst the storm of lightning. He had the pointed ears of a Vulcan, but his face was twisted in a rage and hate that no Vulcan would ever know. And that face was adorned with strange symbols that no one knew the meaning of. His eyes steadily circled the Hall, observing everything, not missing the tiniest detail. Satisfied, he turned his attentions to the dais, and the Prince.

"Hear me, oh people of Vulcan. I am Nero of Romulus and I have come for revenge."

Sarek stepped forward. Perhaps he was frightened, but one couldn't tell by looking at him. He was the picture of a calm, strong King. His voice was deep and carried throughout the Hall.

"Nero of Romulus, I do not know you, and I do not know what might have been done to you to inspire thoughts of vengeance."

"My people are gone, my land burned, my kingdom lost, my wife and unborn child dead. And the blame rests solely on Vulcan!"

Sarek remained outwardly calm. "I have never before heard of your land. How then is Vulcan to blame for it's destruction?"

"The was drought for many years. The crops withered and died. Nothing would grow. Vulcan is a country that is almost desert and yet you have techniques for growing plants in arid ground and specially cultivated crops that do not need much water. You did not share these with us and thus Romulus died."

"But, we did not know! No one approached us for help. Help we would have given. It is nt logical for you to blame us for your misfortune."

"Look, this is _my_ revenge, old king, and I won't have it spoiled by your Logic!"

Nero proceeded to march quickly up to bassinet and touch Prince Spock's face. "I am Nero, Priest of the god Narada, and I confer Lust upon you!"

He turned back to King Sarek. "When Spock reaches his sexual maturity, he will enter Pon Farr." The entire Hall reverberated with the horrified gasp coming from hundreds at once. Vulcans had once been subject to Pon Farr, where they must either mate or die, but since the advent of Logic, they had been able to purge themselves of the Burning. For their Prince to be subject to such an indignity was terrible. In his Burning, he would be unable to logically choose his own Bondmate. Vulcan would have as the next Queen whoever happened to be nearest to Spock when he came upon his sexual maturity and there was no way to know exactly when that would be.

Nero laughed maniacally for several minutes before another lightning storm began and he disappeared within it, leaving a stunned and distraught populace behind.

Before the Hall could descend into logical chaos, Montgomery stepped forward. "Your Majesty, I believe I may be able to help."

All eyes turned upon the Priest. King Sarek walked to the man. "Your compassion and willingness do you credit, Priest, but I do not comprehend how Speed may aid my son in this plight."

Montgomery smiled gently. "I am not just Priest to Dilithios, I am also Priest of the lesser known god Buffer." He peered at the infant Prince and then placed his hand on the child's face. "I confer Stasis upon thee." Again, everyone could feel the power that emanated from the Priest, but this time, the power spread from Prince Spock and encompassed the dais, and then the Hall, and finally the entire Palace.

T'Pau stepped forward, her voice imperious. "What hast thou done? How hast thy done it? No one may channel so much of a god's power."

Montgomery shrugged. "You just have to know something about miracles." With that cryptic comment, he turned back to the King. "When the Prince reaches his sexual maturity, he will fall into Stasis, that is, he will sleep and not age. In this way, his Pon Farr will be delayed until he is awoken by the one who will be his T'hy'la. I just made it so the rest of you would fall into Stasis as well so when he does awake, he'll still have his people around him."

And so it was. Prince Spock grew up into a polite young man who was endlessly curious and whose intelligence allowed him to comprehend everything he wished to learn. He learned to fight to protect his people and he had the compassion to rule them well. Everyone loved him, but the day of his maturity came quickly.

At the precise moment Spock became sexually mature, he experimenting with a new growth formula for the crops. He was testing a small amount of it on his mother's rose bushes, an item she had brought with her from Graysonia and cared for meticulously as they needed more water than most of Vulcan's plants. When the Stasis came upon him, he dropped the bottle of growth formula. It landed amongst the roses. No one in the Palace realized as they too were overcome by Stasis.

* * *

"I presume that it is now time to introduce a new character to the story."

"The hero, Spock, yeah, it's his turn now."

"I do not understand how the villain Nero was able to appear and disappear at will."

"Spock, that's how fairy tales work. The villain just shows up, does something evil, and then heads out again."

***Plus, I really wanted to work that lightning storm in somehow.***

"Um, yeah, that too, I guess."

"Understood, I think. Will you continue with the story, Doctor?"

"Why, Spock, does this mean you like the story?"

"I am merely curious as to how it will be resolved."

"Uh-huh, sure."

* * *

A few years after Prince Spock's memorable Blessing, a child was born to the King and Queen of Kirk, a small kingdom made up mostly of farms, wineries, and distilleries. It also played home to a talented Healers Guild. The couple rejoiced and named their son J'im. He was not the Crown Prince, as he had an elder brother S'am, but he was warmly welcomed into the world and a small but ornate Blessing was arranged for him.

The usual assortment of Priests and Priestess came to J'im's Blessing. Many of them were the same ones who had previously attended Prince Spock's Blessing and they gave the same gifts. Kirk was far from Vulcan and so T'Pau did not come (for she was growing no younger, was, in fact, growing much older) but Scots bordered Kirk and so Montgomery was one of the first Priests invited.

He wore a small, knowing smile when he gave his Blessing to Prince J'im. He whispered it softly so that no one heard his words. None of them knew that both Dilithios and Buffer were actually the sons of the deity he truly was Priest to (which was why he was Priest to them as well). Likewise, no one knew that it was possible to confer the actual spirit of a deity upon a child. In later years, when J'im kept getting involved in adventures that made his brother shake his head, his mother wring her hands, and his father's hair to turn grey, they never knew that he had the very spirit of Enterprise within him.

It was on one of these adventures that J'im met the one who would be his best friend for the rest of his days. He had just finished rescuing a maiden from being a virgin sacrifice to an evil sorcerer. She had enthusiastically showed him her gratitude (as well as conveniently ensuring that she could no longer be used in such rituals) before returning to her family and sending him on his way. J'im was perhaps three days journey from the capitol of Kirk when he heard grumbling. A _lot_ of grumbling.

"Just because I couldn't save her mother from the consequences of her own actions. I _told_ her not to eat that chicken, it was clearly undercooked, but did she listen? Of course not! Why listen to me? I'm only a Healer. It's not as if I actually _know_ anything about the human body and what good and bad for it.

"And to change me like that! She never even had the decency to tell me she was witch when we got married. Now, I ask you, is that something you should keep from your husband? Ex-husband now as transformation curses always end the marriage. Can never be sure if you'll find a cure. Convenient for her."

J'im gaped in shock. Now, he was young, in his twenty-second year, and he had been on a great many adventures. He had seen many things, some mundane and many marvelous. He had never before, however, come across a talking horse.

* * *

"A horse?! You're a horse?!"

"You think I'm happy about it?"

"If you are not pleased with the details of the story, Doctor, why do you include them?"

"It's not like it's _my_ idea!"

"But you are the one telling the story."

***Look, guys , it's really a whole lot better for everyone if you don't wonder too much about things like that. I'm playing fast and loose with the fourth wall as it is. Get on with the story.***

* * *

The horse was a beautiful bay, tall and powerful. He was wondering next to a stream, seemingly not paying attention to where he was walking. And he was muttering to himself. Despite not ever having seen the like, J'im easily accepted the situation after only a moment of surprise.

"Ho there, friend. May I assume by your words that you have run afoul of a witch?"

The horse turned and snorted. "Ran afoul? Hell yes, I ran afoul of her. I married her! And then, when her mother died because she was too stubborn to listen to me, that witch blamed me and turned me into this! And I have no idea how to undo it! I'm a Healer, damnit! Not a magician!"

"I am Prince J'im of Kirk."

"McCoy." The name was given grudgingly.

"I am often out among the lands adventuring and have seen many strange and wondrous things. If you were to accompany me, perhaps together we could find the cure for your condition?"

The horse snorted again. "Me? Adventuring? Don't you know what's out there, kid? Death and disease wrapped in darkness and silence, that's what."

"Well, I can't argue the death and disease pat, but I am fairly capable of avoiding the one and fortunate enough to avoid the other. However, I do not understand why you think the world is dark and silent."

The horse looked vaguely embarrassed. "Sorry, kid, I tend to exaggerate sometimes. Still, adventuring really isn't my kind of life."

"Have you ever tried it? And really, what is left for you here?"

"You've got a point there, kid. I suppose, if I come with you, you'd want to ride me?"

"It would only make sense."

"I'm a Healer, damnit! Not transportation!"

"Then will you come with me as a Healer? I often find myself in need of one. Even without hands, your knowledge would surely be useful."

The horse snorted yet again. It seemed quite a natural sound, one McCoy was in habit of making. "I don't doubt you need a Healer, kid. Sure, why the hell not? I've got nothing better to do. My ex-wife kept everything. And you'll need me, I can feel it in my bones."

The two travel companions outfitted themselves with supplies at the Palace of Kirk and then set off to find adventure. And many an adventure they found, but this is not one of those stories.

* * *

"So why did you mention them? If this is not one of those stories, why mention them at all?"

"It gives a sense of passing time."

"Yeah. Plus, it lets the audience know that they're really heroes, going out and doing hero stuff."

"Hero stuff, Jim?"

"Hero stuff."

"Captain, I am aware that you have a large enough vocabulary to make yourself clearly understood. Why you persist in downplaying your intelligence is something I will never understand."

"Aw, Spock, it's no big deal."

"On the contrary, Captain, I find it to be a rather 'big deal,' as you say."

***That's it! No more talking! (Except for you, Bones.) No more interruptions! No more arguments! I want to finish this story and I want to finish it tonight!***

* * *

J'im and McCoy had wandered through many lands and were far from Kirk when they heard a rumor of a dragon plaguing the land of Vulcan. J'im decided that he would go forth and slay the mighty beast. McCoy decided he would come along for when J'im inevitably got hurt. (They had a system, you see, where McCoy talked J'im through the procedures of caring for his own injuries. They had not yet found a cure for his curse.)

When they reached Vulcan (walking side by side for McCoy still insisted that he was a Healer, damnit, not a pony, a racehorse, or a loyal steed), they were quickly directed to the Palace in Shi'Kahr. The dragon apparently lived within the enormous rose bushes that had grown up around the structure. When McCoy asked why no one in the Palace had done anything either about the dragon or the roses, he was met with stoney silence or the occasional "We do not discuss it."

The Palace was easy enough to find. That is, the gigantic mound of vines and thorns and roses was easy to find. The Palace itself was not visible through the greenery. The dragon, however, was quite visible. He was a magnificent specimen, easily twice the size of a house and covered with dark grey scales that somehow lent an air of authority to the beast. He was munching on the roses.

J'im immediately brandished his sword and stepped out to confront the creature. "Fell beast! You have plagued this land too long! I, Prince J'im, will rid Vulcan of your presence!"

McCoy groaned and wished he had his hands simply so he'd be able to bury his head in them. For all their time together, three years all told, he'd never once been able to convince J'im that subtlety might work better than the direct approach. Especially against something that could bite him in two without even stretching its jaw.

The dragon, in contrast, merely looked at jim and then snorted (sounding remarkably like McCoy). "I was going to be on my way soon anyway, young Prince. I only came for the roses. They started growing like this a few years back with no explanation. But they have a remarkable healing ability."

"So, you're not terrorizing the people?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. I injured my leg, you see," the dragon held out one of his back legs for examination so they could see the wide disruption of scales. "It looked a lot worse before. I only have a day or so more of eating the roses and I should be completely healed."

"If you're not harming anyone, why do they want you gone?"

"Well, nobody really likes having a dragon in the area. I don't know why not, we're quite friendly. Handy too. I could hold off a whole gang of brigands on my own."

At this point, J'im had sheathed his sword. "Well, pleased to meet you I suppose. As I said, I'm Prince J'im. This is my Healer, McCoy." He gestured towards his friend.

The dragon eyed McCoy with amusement. "You're a horse."

"I'm a Healer, damnit! Not a, well yes, fine I'm a horse. I wasn't always though."

"Ah, a transformation curse. You should try the roses. They really do seem to cure all ills. My name's Pike by the way. Did you really come here just for me?"

J'im nodded, "Why else would we have come?"

"Oh, I just thought you'd heard about the Prince who's in Stasis awaiting his T'hy'la."

"Really? A Prince in trouble?" McCoy rolled his eyes. J'im was nothing if not an equal opportunity hero.

Pike chewed a few more roses. "From what I hear, he'll only wake up for his T'hy'la and then he'll go straight into some kind of sexual heat and Bond with him or her. Pretty cliched, if you ask me."

Well, cliched or not, that was enough to get J'im to start hacking his way through the roses. McCoy watched from beside Pike and tentatively took a few roses into his mouth. He could feel a sort of tingling. He eagerly ate some more. Might as well do something useful while J'im was off trying to rescue the Prince.

J'im managed to find the center of the roses and with it, Prince Spock. He gazed down at the Vulcan Prince and somehow knew that this was who he wanted to Bond with. He delicately traced the pointed ears with the tip of his finger and then leaned in to touch his lips to Spock's, his hand entwining around Spock's

Their lips touched at the exact moment their hands did so no one knew which of these actually was responsible for bringing Spock out of Stasis. His eyes snapped open and he stared at the man who had awoken him. "T'hy'la," he breathed. Then Pon Farr descended upon him and he pounced. J'im had just enough time to remove the sword belt and toss it aside.

The rest of the Palace's occupants awoke as well. They quickly ascertained what was happening in Spock's lab and started to clear out the roses that were choking the entire building. They found a dragon and horse, contentedly munching on the flowers and grousing to each other, and wisely, left the two alone. By the time Spock and J'im emerged several days later, the Palace had been cleared of vegetation and a Bonding party prepared.

Later, after the Bonding, J'im and Spock decided to go off adventuring together. After all, King Sarek and Queen Amanda were still relatively young and healthy and Spock would not need to ascend the throne for many years. It was logical to go out among the lands and learn all he could. Plus, J'im still held the spirit of Enterprise and Spock would not allow his Bondmate to go off into danger alone. McCoy, who had regained his original form, accompanied them, grumbling all the while about how neither of them could be trusted to look after themselves.

And they all lived happily ever after.

* * *

"Fascinating. Why did you end the story with that phrase, Doctor?"

"That's how you end fairy tales, Spock."

"But it is illogical. 'Ever after' implies that they did not die and 'happily' cannot be a constant state. Surely they experienced others throughout the course of their adventures."

"Spock, don't question it. It's tradition."

"A tradition that makes little sense to my mind, Captain."

***It ended that way because I said so. Does that work for you, Spock?***

"Indeed."


End file.
